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Author Topic: Women's Needs...  (Read 2152 times)

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thunderbolt

Women's Needs...
« on: October 01, 2009 »
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  • This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.

     Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
    have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
    their heart.
     
    FOR EXAMPLE:
     
    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
    the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel
    like it, I just want you to hold me.'
     
    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
     
    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..
     
    'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
    me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
     
    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for
    who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
     
    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
     
    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
    to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
     
    We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
    diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
    thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
    testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
    know how to play tennis.
     
    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She
    was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
     dear, let's go to the cashier.'
     
    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't
    feel like it.'
     
    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
    'WHAT?'
     
    I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
    You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
    to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
     
    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
    'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
     
    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
    knows I'm smarter than her.
     
     

    Offline Edward Bear

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    Re: Women's Needs...
    « Reply #1 on: October 01, 2009 »
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  • So you know my wife then.