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Author Topic: What My wife wants in a Man  (Read 1672 times)

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Fitbadaft

What My wife wants in a Man
« on: August 14, 2010 »
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  • What my wife wants In A Man!   

    Original List
    1. Handsome
    2. Charming
    3. Financially successful
    4. A caring  listener
    5. Witty
    6. In good shape
    7. Dresses with style
    8. Appreciates finer things
    9. Full of thoughtful surprises
       
    What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  32)
    1. Nice looking
    2. Opens car doors, holds  chairs
    3. Has enough money for a nice  dinner
    4. Listens more than  talks
    5. Laughs at my jokes
    6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
    7. Owns at least one tie
    8. Appreciates a  good home-cooked meal
    9. Remembers  birthdays and anniversaries

    What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  42)
    1. Not too ugly
    2. Doesn't  drive off until I'm in the car
    3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out  occasionally
    4. Nods head when I'm talking
    5. Usually remembers  punch lines of jokes
    6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the  furniture
    7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
    8. Knows not  to buy champagne with screw-top lids
    9. Remembers to put the toilet seat  down
    10. Shaves most  weekends
       
    What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  52)
    1. Keeps hair in nose and ears  trimmed
    2. Doesn't belch or  scratch in public
    3. Doesn't  borrow money too often
    4. Doesn't  nod off to sleep when I'm venting
    5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many  times
    6. Is in good enough shape  to get off the couch on weekends
    7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh  underwear
    8. Appreciates a good  TV dinner
    9. Remembers your name  on occasion
    10. Shaves some weekends

    What  I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  62)
    1. Doesn't scare small children
    2. Remembers where bathroom is
    3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
    4. Only snores lightly  when asleep
    5. Remembers why he's laughing
    6. Is in good enough  shape to stand up by himself
    7. Usually wears some clothes
    8. Likes soft foods
    9. Remembers where he left his teeth
    10. Remembers that it's the weekend
     
    What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age  72)
    1. Breathing.
    2. Doesn't miss the toilet.
       
    Send this to the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!
     
    AFTER  BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL  LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY  AND SAID, "Darling, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP  APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR,  SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK  AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT  TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD  GIRL.  NOW  I HAVE A $500,000..00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR,  NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN  TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN.  IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."

    MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN.  SHE TOLD ME TO  GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD  GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE  AGAIN BE LIVING  IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR,  SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND  WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE  TV.
     
    AREN'T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS