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Offline Edward Bear

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The Irish cop out again
« on: September 25, 2011 »
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    > Two Irish builders (Patrick and Seamus) are seated either side of a
    >> table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits
    >> on a stool at the bar.
    >>
    >> The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit
    >>
    >> Pat: - I reckon he's an accountant.
    >>
    >> Seamus: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
    >>
    >> Pat: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
    >>
    >> The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer
    >> gets the better of Pat and he makes for the toilet.
    >>
    >> On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.
    >>
    >> Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.
    >> Pat: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were
    >> wondering what you do for a living?
    >>
    >> Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
    >>
    >> Pat: - Oh? What's that then?
    >>
    >> Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ..... Do you have a goldfish at
    home?
    >>
    >> Pat: - Er ... mmm ........ well yeah, I do as it happens!
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a
    >> pond. Which is it?
    >>
    >> Pat: - It's in a pond!
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden
    then?
    >>
    >> Pat: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you
    >> have a large garden then you have a large house?
    >>
    >> Pat: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ....... built it
    myself!
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical
    >> to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are
    >> quite probably married? And with a family?
    >>
    >> Pat: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
    >> with your wife on a regular basis?
    >>
    >> Pat: - Yep! Five times a week!
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very
    often?
    >>
    >> Pat: - Do what? Not me, mate!
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
    >>
    >> Pat: - How's that then?
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
    >> about your sex life!
    >>
    >> Pat: - I see! That's pretty impressive.. Thanks mate!
    >>
    >> Both leave the toilet and Pat returns to his mate.
    >>
    >> Seamus: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
    >>
    >> Pat: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
    >>
    >> Seamus: - What's that then?
    >>
    >> Pat: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
    >>
    >> Seamus: - Nope
    >>
    >> Pat: - Well then, you're a I love being stupid.
    « Last Edit: October 10, 2011 by Edward Bear »

    Offline Edward Bear

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    Re: The Irish cop out again
    « Reply #1 on: September 25, 2011 »
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  • Sorry about this joke folks as the prudish management have seen fit to meddle with the words and it has lost it's fun.

    Offline Edward Bear

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    Re: The Irish cop out again
    « Reply #2 on: October 10, 2011 »
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  • Two Irish builders (Patrick and Seamus) are seated either side of a
    >> table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits
    >> on a stool at the bar.
    >>
    >> The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit
    >>
    >> Pat: - I reckon he's an accountant.
    >>
    >> Seamus: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
    >>
    >> Pat: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
    >>
    >> The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer
    >> gets the better of Pat and he makes for the toilet.
    >>
    >> On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.
    >>
    >> Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.
    >> Pat: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were
    >> wondering what you do for a living?
    >>
    >> Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
    >>
    >> Pat: - Oh? What's that then?
    >>
    >> Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ..... Do you have a goldfish at
    home?
    >>
    >> Pat: - Er ... mmm ........ well yeah, I do as it happens!
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a
    >> pond. Which is it?
    >>
    >> Pat: - It's in a pond!
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden
    then?
    >>
    >> Pat: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you
    >> have a large garden then you have a large house?
    >>
    >> Pat: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ....... built it
    myself!
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical
    >> to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are
    >> quite probably married? And with a family?
    >>
    >> Pat: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
    >> with your wife on a regular basis?
    >>
    >> Pat: - Yep! Five times a week!
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very
    often?
    >>
    >> Pat: - Do what? Not me, mate!
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
    >>
    >> Pat: - How's that then?
    >>
    >> Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
    >> about your sex life!
    >>
    >> Pat: - I see! That's pretty impressive.. Thanks mate!
    >>
    >> Both leave the toilet and Pat returns to his mate.
    >>
    >> Seamus: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
    >>
    >> Pat: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
    >>
    >> Seamus: - What's that then?
    >>
    >> Pat: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
    >>
    >> Seamus: - Nope
    >>
    >> Pat: - Well then, you're a I love being stupid

    Offline Edward Bear

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    Re: The Irish cop out again
    « Reply #3 on: October 10, 2011 »
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  • DD what  is the difference between a masterbater and a I love being stupid ?
    Never had you down as a prude.

    Offline Edward Bear

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    • Posts: 1008
    • Location: Santiago del Teide
    Re: The Irish cop out again
    « Reply #4 on: October 11, 2011 »
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  • Never had you down as a prude.
    I was obviously wrong.