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Author Topic: Some more chuckles  (Read 1702 times)

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Offline Edward Bear

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Some more chuckles
« on: July 25, 2011 »
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  • Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care... one has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma..
     
    I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick
    pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
     
    A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time......
     
    I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...I
    thought to myself, these fellows have lost the plot......
     
    A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was
    refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
     
    My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were ?70!!! No way!, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
     
    Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
     
    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ?I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.? I bought her some bathroom scales.
     
    I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
     
    I was driving this morning when I saw an AA recovery van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself ?that guy?s heading for a breakdown?.