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Offline Dolly Diver

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HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S
« on: November 05, 2010 »
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  • Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her  husband or boyfriend along shopping

    This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a Customer in Oxford :   


           Dear Mrs.   Murray ,

           Whilst we would  like to thank you for your valued custom and use of  the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in  Banbury is considering banning you and your family from  shopping with us, unless your Husband stops his  antics.

           Below is a list of  his actions over the past few months all Verified by our  surveillance cameras:

           1.  June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in  people's Trolleys when they weren't looking.

            2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in  Housewares to go off at 5-minute Intervals.

            3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice  on the floor leading to Feminine Products aisle.

            4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and  told her in an official tone, 'Code3' in housewares..... And  watched what happened.

           5.  August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted  area.

           6. September 15: Set  up a tent in the outdoor clothing Department and  told  shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and  a Calor Gas stove.

           7.  September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help  him,  he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people  just leave me alone?'

           8.  October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a  mirror,picked his nose, and ate it.

            9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing  kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant  if he knew where the Antidepressants were.

            10. November 3: Darted around the store  suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible'  theme.

           11.November  6:  In the kitchenware aisle, practised the ' Madonna ' look using  different size funnels.

           12.  November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people  browsed, Yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

            13. November 21: When an announcement came over  the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed  'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

            And; last, but not least:

            14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the  door, waited a while, then yelled, very loudly, 'There is  no toilet paper in here.'


    We thank you for your patronage, but please leave your husband at home.

    Tesco.

    Banbury.