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Author Topic: ADULTS ONLY - you have been told !  (Read 1681 times)

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Offline losgiganteskid

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ADULTS ONLY - you have been told !
« on: January 25, 2013 »
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  • A man walks into a pub with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar.  The barman walks over and says "What can I get you ?"

    The man says "I'll have a beer" - the ostrich says "I'll have a beer" and the cat says "I'll have a half pint of beer and i'm not buying".  The barman says "OK - that will be 8.54"

    The man reaches into his pocket, brings out the exact change and pays the barman.

    An hour or so later the barman goes back to them and says "What'll you guys have now ?"

    The man says "I'll have a beer" the ostrich says "I'll have a beer" and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and i'm not buying"

    Barman says "Fine - that will be 8.54 please"

    Man reaches in his pocket and again brings out the exact change and pays the barman.

    A couple of days later the same trio come into the bar - barman walks over "What'll you guys have to drink ?"

    Man says "I'll have a whiskey" - ostrich says "I'll have a rum and black" and the cat says "I'll have half a beer and i'm not buying"

    Barman says "OK - that will be 11.20 please" - the man reaches into his pocket and brings out the exact amount of change and pays the barman.

    The barmans curiosity got the better of him and he asks "Why is it that every time I tell you the amount you owe me your always able to pull out from your pocket the exact correct amount of change ?"

    The man replies, "Well it's like this - I was fortunate enough to find a bottle floating in the sea - when I rubbed it a genie appeared and granted me three wishes - how lucky can you get ?.  My first wish was that I always have the exact change in my pocket for absolutely anything I buy"

    The barman says "That's a great wish - much better than asking for say a million pounds - as a million pounds will eventually run out but that wish never will - brilliant !!

    "What were your other two wishes"

    "Ah- says the man - that's where I kinda messed up cos I also asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy"
    I wanted to be the Cincinnati Kid - but couldn't spell it