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Offline Edward Bear

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Why Teachers Drink
« on: October 05, 2018 »

 The following questions were set in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 18 year olds)

Q. Name the four seasons?
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar


Q. How is dew formed?
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire


Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed


Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election


Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)


Q... What happens to your body as you age?
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental


Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)


Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A.. Premature death


Q. What is artificial insemination?
A... When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow


Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A.. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)


Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U (wtf!)


Q. What is the fibula?
A.. A small lie


Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A.. Nearby


Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work)


Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'?
A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome


Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)


Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)


Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)



Offline TimO

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Re: Why Teachers Drink
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2018 »
If they were really genuine answers in an examination then there can't be much to say about the present day education system in the UK, can there? Since the demise of the Oxbridge examination system the standard of education in the UK has gone down an awful lot.

I was a product of the Oxbridge system having gone through GCE 'O' level and CSE exams back in 1969 and I can genuinely state that the Oxbridge system was a far better system than the one that is in place now. There's to much emphasis on examinations for pupils of all ages. Teachers should be actually teaching instead of filling out forms for this and that. There is far to much paperwork altogether that it's no wonder teachers in the UK are 'burning out' well before their time and you're getting answers like you received in your joke, Edward Bear!