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21
General Discussion / Re: Update of works please Dolly
« Last post by linda on January 13, 2021 »
That's correct though doubt the bar that was cappuccino Maria's will open again supermarket is dial prix
22
General Discussion / Re: Shengen
« Last post by pilgrim on January 12, 2021 »
Am sure it will simplify, Brexit not a fortnight old yet. To many of us to be ignored!
23
General Discussion / Re: Shengen
« Last post by nophead on January 12, 2021 »
Yes this is the last year we can use our property for the time we want to because it only counts after Jan 1st this year.

Possibly we can get a visa but that requires jumping through some hoops, like going to an embassy in person, proving our income and lack of criminal records and getting it all translated into Spanish.
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General Discussion / Re: Shengen
« Last post by pilgrim on January 12, 2021 »
Okay, I understand. So basically, if you are in Tenerife for 90 days, you can't return for another 91 days.
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General Discussion / Re: Shengen
« Last post by nophead on January 12, 2021 »
No 90 in any rolling 180. That is why it is so bad for us swallows. There is an online calculator for people that cant grasp the concept. https://www.schengenvisainfo.com/visa-calculator/
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General Discussion / Re: Shengen
« Last post by pilgrim on January 12, 2021 »
Is it not 90 days in any 180 days?
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General Discussion / Re: Shengen
« Last post by nophead on January 12, 2021 »
No you can't because we are limited to 90 days in a rolling 180 days. So once you use 90 days you have to come back for 90 days.
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General Discussion / Re: Shengen
« Last post by pilgrim on January 12, 2021 »
Flyscot, if you are only going to Tenerife, and not in other parts of Spain during the year. I think for instance you could visit in late September, return to UK for Xmas/NY then return to Tenerife and stay for another 3 months. This way you can do 6 months away over winter, just with the break when ur out of the country so as to stick to the rules. In fact I can't see why you couldn't get an evening flight back to Uk and fly back to Tenerife on early flight next morning. But make sure you eat your sandwiches before you land !
29
Let's all have a laugh / Never trust a sailor.
« Last post by Edward Bear on January 12, 2021 »
A young Scouse woman was so depressed that she decided to launch herself into the Mersey, but just before she did a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor and we are off to Australia tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose and the prospect of going to Australia, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine and make love to her until dawn.
Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection. "What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Australia."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Birkenhead ferry."
30
Let's all have a laugh / 999
« Last post by Edward Bear on January 11, 2021 »
WHEN TO CALL THE POLICE       

WHEN YOU'RE OLD, AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.


George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.   
 
He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?"   

He said, "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

 

Then the police dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy, you should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available"   
 
George said, "Okay."           
 
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.   

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed.  Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.   

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.   

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"   

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"   
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