Thanks folks for answering my question and not thinking that I'm round the (U) bend.
Top marks (or should that be skid marks) to you Falstaff for your ingenious idea.
Before I pull the plug on this I have a little joke for you in keeping with this thread:
A woman goes to her local GP because she is suffering from terrible flatulance. Her doctor tells her to lie on the couch so he can examine her.
As she climbs up she passes wind.
The doctor then picks up a long pole with a hook on one end.
"Oh! Dr Jones what are you gonna do with that thing"? the worried patient asks.
"I'm going to open the window, you bloody well stink"?