Hi Falstaff, you did make me smile
The bit about the waitors kissing people reminded me of a little story which I hope will make you smile.
Last time we went to the hotel, every night the same waiter would shunt us to a table with no view and the returning guests who they knew would get kisses and the tables near the window. We found it all quite amusing but on our 7th night as we walked into the restaurant the same waiter rushed towards us with a lovely smile and said he'd kept us his best table with a lovely view.
We sat down and thought whats going on cause he couldnt do enough for us, our wine arrived quicker than usual, water turned up which he poured and he kept hovering around. Just as we finished out main course he came to get our plates and said I hope you have been looked after good tonight and hope you have a safe trip home tomorrow.
I replied we're not going home tomorrow we're here for 2 weeks, the look on his face was a picture, the plates were taken away and he didnt speak to us again that night and you could tell he wasnt happy with us. Guess he thought he was getting a tip and no we didnt get any nice tables saved for us for the last 7 days, lol
Lucklily most of the staff are lovely and it didn't spoil our holiday.