Here is an article from the Tenerife News. With this kind of publicity is it any wonder things are as they are:
So here, for what they're worth, are another bunch of picturesque postcards home, all with original spelling and punctuation, from a variety of punters who have risked life, limb and starvation in some Tenerife hotels that shall remain forever nameless.
Wish you were there with them?
I don't think so!
"Big, big mistake!!!!" said a West Midlands visitor about his choice of a 4 star hotel down San Miguel de Abona way:
"we came back from Tenerife today and ive never been happier to get away from there, the bacon was disgustingly chewy and the eggs were sickly for breakfast. everyday its practically the same and you'll eventually get sick of it.
"the bar people were very friendly but they charge after 10 pm and in my opinion that was rather poor for a so called all inclusive 4 star hotel. the tv woz all in Spanish or german and I have to admit the balcony did have a nice view but at night there was no air conditioning so its bad for people who are asthmatic."
A fellow guest at the same hotel who said he was from a place called Gloster had a more succinct way of expressing his general disapproval of this particular joint:
"No hot water. No towels. No service all inclusive bar shuts at 10 pm!! No tomato sauce. No butter."
Meanwhile up north in Puerto de la Cruz there was more than a dearth of tomato sauce and butter on the mind of one disgruntled visitor from Dudley who suffers from major spelling difficulties. He may even have appreciated some of that chewy bacon thrown his way, come to think of it.
"there was 2 resteraunts but only 1 was ever open '85 there was no bar snacks and the food just got worse and worse. my partner was sick after breakfast we ended up having to eat out. my partner also spent 2 days having sickness and dyhoria '85 none of the staff understood english. and they were ignrent.
"there was other people there from england that were having the same problems and unhappy. im so glad I never took my 2 children with us as there was nothing for them to do. there was lizards and cockroaches crowing all round the hotel."
Still chewing over the crowing lizards and cockroaches (or perhaps not), let us remain in Puerto where, in another establishment, one kind-hearted Polish guest is worried about the elderly:
"This hotel has officially 4 stars, but I think that nobody has revised that recently. The room was quite ok. The food was horrible, tasteless and overcooked, so if you have a chance to choose only bad and breakfast I strongly advice you to do that. This hotel during winter is mainly visited by retired people and perhaps this is because of their false teeth or sensitive stomachs. The last thing, the elderly people might have some problems with the elevators becose the door he close to fast for them."
Over in Los Gigantes, meanwhile, in a place described as being "more like an old folks home" than a hotel, some visitors were having an unpleasant experience after ordering a drink.
"On our third night we ordered a drink in the bar and while the barman was preparing it, a fly landed in the drink. He fished it out with his finger then handed us the drink '85"
The insect and finger episode proved to be the final straw for this couple at a place where "the peak entertainment was a harpist of a Saturday night and line dancing by the pool."
And once again it was food which was, so to speak, getting up the noses of guests at a 4 star establishment in Costa Adeje where "unhelpful and aggressive staff" were serving up what sound like some mighty odd dishes, according to one.
"The food was poor quality and badly cooked. Some of the descriptions were strange, for instance Muffled Hake in Sauce, Scum Ice Cream and Honey Roast Ham with Species.
"The meat used in this hotel is tough, a rare steak cooked on the grill could have been used to sole my flip-flops. The burgers from the pool bar were under cooked and probably carried the species refered to by the ham sign '85"
And last but far, far from least, pity the poor woman from Liverpool who chose to stay in one holiday apartment complex in Playa de las Am'e9ricas, where, she said, "the staff didn't seem to know what day it was and were very unhelpful. The first night we found an extended family of massive cockroaches in our room endash when I went to reception, she gave me a can of insect spray. I told her we wanted a different room endash she said that was not possible and sent a handy man round to kill the creatures by standing on them. I wouldn't go back there if you paid me.